If you want to know what human breast milk tastes like, read on. How do I know? It was an emergency. I swear.
The baby was breastfeeding but for whatever reason, she wasn’t taking the breast this morning and my wife’s liquid lifelines were filling up.
What was I supposed to do? Watch her suffer? Am I even allowed to breastfeed?
I had to taste her breast milk.
Ok, so I was curious. What is the taste of breast milk? What is this magical elixir that has everything a baby needs to survive? Is it gross or completely natural to drink this stuff?
Most of us have heard ad nauseam the benefits of breast-feeding. Breast milk is packed with vitamins, minerals, fats and other healthy goodies.
They also say the taste of breast milk depends hugely on what mom is eating. Spicy food? spicy breast milk. Oranges and plums? Sweet and fruity.
And now here on a Saturday morning while visiting my parents, I have the opportunity to find out; totally reluctantly. Really.
My wife’s lactating lifelines are turgid and swollen, they need to be milked. Right Away.
We forgot the breast pump and the baby is sleeping. My wife is in pain. I can’t stand to see my wife in pain. I must do something to save her.
“They really hurt,” says my wife referring to her ballooning mams.
But what, what can I do? Then it hits me.
“I’ll do it,” I say as gravely as the men who saved Private Ryan.
“You’ll do what?” Gabby replies.
“I’ll drink your breast milk.” Gabby laughs nervously.
I can’t betray any hint of actually wanting to do it or she’ll never agree. I remain committed to this sacrifice for her sake, for her sake. “Seriously, you’re in pain, what else are you going to do?”
She tilts her head upward, eyes skyward in that thinking way and after a moment’s pause she says matter-of-factly, “ok.”
Tougher to drink than you might think
You’d think I’d be ecstatic. Actually, I was. But before that, I was like, ‘ok, now what?’
So I lean in. At first, I get nothing. I try a different way, nope. If this is so easy that a baby can do it, why can’t I?
“You have to put your mouth around the whole thing, not just the nipple,” my wife commands. “Suck and pull. Suck and pull,” come the drill sergeant instructions. “But not too hard. Stop, that’s too hard.”
I ease up, go with the flow and soon I feel a warm sensation in my mouth. Slightly sweet and a little nutty, like warm cinnamon toast. This is good. Real good.
No wonder my daughter looks so content.
They better not let this secret out or babies all over the world are going to be starving.
I continue to relieve my wife and for me it’s gentle and warm. I’m thoroughly comforted in my wife’s lactating bosom. I’m also slightly aroused too. It’s the first time in five months I’ve touched my wife’s buddies.
They went from recreational to functional overnight and I was elated to be back in their satisfying embrace.
Gabby too seems happy to have the pressure off, but when I ask her later, she does not confirm or deny the arousing part.
There is a certain rich quality, mom’s milk fat, to the milk too, it’s quite filling and the combination of all these things, the warm milk, the warm body, the effort sucking, makes me ready for a nappy.
Jaslyn too is sleepy from her bottle. We both soon fall asleep in my wife’s arms.
Well, personally I think it was noble for you to step up. Of course I too have tried breast milk, but under different circumstances. More of a dare from a group of friends after one of them had a baby…and that was from the bottle 🙂
Yes, sometimes we have to make sacrifices…Actually it’s funny that we treat such a natural and healthy thing as “gross.”
Honestly. I just can’t imagine. It takes a brave man (or a perverted one). It’s nice to know you had her best interest at heart.
Ok. I’m going to have to disagree with the previous posters here. I understand that your wife was in pain. Believe me, I do. My son is 18 months old and he is still nursing a few times a day. In the beginning, breastfeeding did NOT come easy for us. However, to relieve engorgement your wife could have expressed her milk by hand in a hot shower. Or you can get a cheap but effective breast pump for under $50. I commend you for “stepping up to the plate” and helping your wife in her time of need but I am a bit bothered by your admittance to arousal. Honestly, there were better ways to solve this problem. And I’m sure this was a lesson learned: Never, EVER leave the house without your breastpump. Especially if you will be gone for a long period of time, and especially not in the early months of a newborn’s life when both mom and baby are still “learning the ropes.”
Breasts are beautiful, milk is delicious. 2 + 2 = gross??
What is wrong with America that we think breast milk is gross? grow up.
If you drink “regular” milk you might as well be sucking on a cows teat. Not gross?!
Seriously. Lighten up some. “There were better ways to solve this problem.” Of course she could have expressed it, but it wouldn’t have been near as fun.
Wonderful, except… why did Jaslyn have a bottle? Was it a bottle of breastmilk? Why didn’t Jaslyn just suckle the breast? Otherwise, lovely!
Ah, stupid me, missed the part (twice, since I re-read the article to make sure I hadn’t missed anything…I am a tired first-time mom of a nursing three-week old) about baby not taking the breast…kudos for pumping and giving her breastmilk!
I’m pregnant with my first child and I am honestly shocked that so many people find breastfeeding issues to be ‘gross’ it is no wonder moms can’t feed their babies in public without some kind of backlash. There is nothing wrong with this kind and caring husband helping out his wife, IMO. I appreciate everything my hubby does to make me feel better.
why do so many people think its perverted or gross? what’s the matter with people. its milk! you drink it from a dirty farm animal who is shot up with synthetics everyday. human milk on the other hand can be amazingly nutritious and pure. women waste so much milk that could be used to feed others in starving areas around the world. i hear it has great benefits for the woman and the receiver. whats perverted about that? being relaxed and healthy yeah that’s gross! get over it!
Hey Timothy,
Yeah, it is kind of weird that we have perverted such a natural thing. Like, oh gross human milk, but a cow’s milk is so much more natural…Although, not every human’s milk is natural and pure. Depends on what mom is eating.
I have chronic sinus infections so severe that they warrant a disability status. Two independent medical doctors both suggested adult breast feeding as a means of reducing the problem. Their reason was the natural antibiotic levels of mother’s milk (which is beneficial to the nursing mom as well as an infant and some chronically-ill adults). Now if I could only find a wet-nurse in this ‘modern’ day and age… since I am a single adult who doesn’t wish to be misinterpreted as a pervert (which is unfortunately many people’s misinformed reaction.)
Thanks, your article was perfect. I’m writing a novel and have a character wanting to try his breastfeeding wife’s milk. So explaining your technique was excellent. It will enrich my writing greatly. And I don’t see anything wrong with helping your wife out in her hour of need.
I find nothing wrong or perverted about this. I am going to let my husband try my breastmilk when I get pregnant.
As for the arousal part, that’s not too strange either. He *is* getting to suck her breasts after all. Guys like to do that. 😉 America just has such a twisted view of sexuality and of a woman’s body that completely natural things like breastmilk are rendered “gross”. I can only hope someday that breastfeeding will lose it’s “taboo”.
LOL.. that’s a noble thing to do and not a huge deal. I’ve helped out my mom before – she breastfed me until I was 3, then I drank her excess breastmilk on a couple occasions when I was 5 & my little brother wasn’t sucking it all. A few years later, she had similar issues with my 2 step-siblings, so she used to pump her milk and whoever wanted at home could drink it – I think my stepdad at the time wasn’t big on the idea of helping. I don’t know why though – breastmilk tastes great, it’s sweet like canteloupe juice. I think her new husband is helping her now with drinking the excess milk from our baby step-brother, because she doesn’t ask us to help these days. Oh well, good for him, I guess!
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